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Thursday, December 23

These few days were not smooth for me at all. In fact it was drastically horrendous.

What am i waiting for? What am i thinking ? What do i freaking want ????
Life was filled with zeal ; tranquility ...now... A Black shade of bubonic path leading only to a unseen destination.

Should life be well plan out? predictable?

Xmas is 2 days more. I hope to start afresh in 2005.
Speaking about past, I regreted not using my brains before i speak. My state of mind now is (unable to define). My emotion is wrecked. Is she worth it? Why do i like her so much? Are we better of as friends? Although we do not have much common interests, yet i took a deep liking for her. why? waited waited, like the rotting corpse at the corner of the room, rejected once and again.

For the corpse is trying to reverse its process of decomposition.

The corpse wants to alive again,free of the decomposing agents/parasites/bacterias speeding up its decay. Alas,the corpse sees a pretty doll at the corner. Free of the shackle of pollution,he tries to reach out to her. Lifeless doll it seem to be, yet full of robustness and energy- yet the corpse prospects of her is full of admiration. Hoping one day to reach out to her,feeling her heart with warmth, enigma it seem. Albeit the corpse did reverse its decomposition,surprisingly, it never did took a interest for the doll. The doll filled with fright, heads towards the window porch.She hopes to dance with the sunflower and honey bees buzzing in the Midsummer dream of salacity.
Will she make it? The corpse ...reach out to her in destress.

98% of sec 4 appeals succeeded. how encouraging huh. only 4 of Us will not have a place in acjc for the first 3 months. wth man..arggg. haiz. Man, there are 5 oboists in the band now- 6 soon. wat is it turning into? a cacophony of oboe harmonics? or enchanted ducks' qucks?
God ... do not forsake me now... ur servant is calling out to u. Give me the strength and wisdom.

gabriel ~ 10:57 PM